路越难走，我越坚强

blackout

what does it mean to you?

i cheered n shouted rubbish out of the window towards the dim n invisible neighbourhood. it is such a joyous experience, to hear the neighbourhood shouting at nothing for the sake of it in the middle of the night, and to carry candles around the house. this is pure fun.

i saw parents bringing their kids for a walk along the void deck, heard fantastic neighbours trying to act ghost, and flickering candles in flats a distant away. the view all the way to jurong east from my jurong west flat was dark. 1st time in my life do i experience such darkness in a concrete forest (bet i'll experience more in the real ones in a year's time)

when the creator decided "let there be light", one could hear the neighbourhood cheer like david scored a goal in the world cup (at last). cheering went on for 1 to 2 min (no joke, it's tt long).


everything lasted 30min +-
the cause was disruption in the indonesian gas supply

30 MINUTES
how much damage can be inflicted in 30min?
1 plane 4 missiles
5 planes 20 missiles
1 missile per 30s
how much will tt be?
if the missiles were to come during these 30min
how ready r u to handle the situation?
with ur father mother?
with ur sister brother?
with ur partner?
all in a state of confusion
including maybe u urself

u c, such things do happen
and, can happen
it's just lucky this time no damage incurred rite?
but, wad if one day something does?

n given the reason for the blackout this time
do u think it is difficult to let history repeat itself?

suddenly i realise the importance of my own existence in the family
and the nation.
we need to realise the implications of this event
admidst the cheering n discovery of all sorts of reactions to the situation
there's a serious problem that our small country encounter
chinese don't create proverbs for fun
ju an si wei
really, it applies to everyone of us
and especially us singaporeans



i do hope such horrific blackout do not happen at all

though i'll like to experience another longer blackout again!

time for my biological blackout

after being so rational with books these weeks, its time to be a little emotional


..........................................


guys aren't used to saying thanx
oh well at least those around me r lidat
probably we think it's redundant
like to frens
since its like well if u're gonna say it a million times if u really gonna say it to a fren
then it'll lose the effect of the powerful "thanks"
or maybe it's cos of situation is not too appropriate
speaking thanx really make u wonder wad the other party will think
there's many reasons y u needa say thanx
n there's many others y u dun wan to

but sometimes u really dun realise how much u're depriving the party of when u only thank them deep inside
n how much u're taking them for granted

so since this idea comes to my mind
this urge
then let me fulfill wad the creator wants me to do today!


.............................................

Part F 2004
thanx for showing me tt this passion to maintain our bond is not a one-sided business so far
km
thanx for sharing the ups n down, n never fail to listen too! whenever down, sure got let out point, n tt's u're ears! kermology rox!
just
thanx for showing me all the reasons i should grab control of life sometimes. u knock the lazy bone out of me unknowingly! just por!
4
thanx for pulling thru together as csm n asm together, never fail to listen for opinions, n even now, listen to me as a fren for opinions too. work or play, forever frens! 4 bin obese!
fer
thanx for never failing to tickle me n yet treat me as a real good fren! wah lan ur jokes r the irresistable ones! trust me! n though wasn't too gam for a period of time, but still frens till now! keep the humour n dun leave it lying around! or should i say, leave it everywhere n dun keep it! haha wadever
saijack
thanx for letting me noe there's still someone who cares though it's been months since all of us lose contact. keep it goin yah? fkia power!

Part E 2004
thanx those who went annual camp for showing tt u all still regard n respect me as a senior. u'll never appreciate this feeling till a junior talks to u. keep ur bonds strong!
jj
thanx for seeking for my opinion. one feels good having appreciated as an advisor, though it may not be effective sometimes, n tis is wad u make me feel. wanna go for obs sea ex(cx)?

ban bei
thanx for bearing with ur blurr n forever sleepy SM. roxy failures everywhere
an
thanx for appreciating my low class lame jokes. haha. good to c ur good face when u are in cold turkey

yi jia ren
thanx for pumping energy back into me during the camp. u all din noe, but i was quite low before the camp, n u all gave me all the reason to be back on my feet again! n yes for trying hard to go for the outing though many turn out couldn't turn up. never mind we'll have another one! maybe steamboat at my house!
hanhan
thanx for helping.. have i thanked u before? n i noe u did try to make my life easier here n there during the camp. or m i just fantasising? haha.. but in any case, things would be different without u as a leader. *strawberri salutes*

qL
thanx for ending it so nicely n making sure no one is hurt badly. well i was hurt but isn't. after this relationship i felt clearer as to wat i want in a relationship. things i won't get out of books, n i bet u wont get out of ur fantasy books too! happy to c u hyper again! keep up the energy chiobu!

dor
thanx for msg me all of a sudden n letting me realise i've still got a very close fren at a corner of the country! though it's been years ah, but really leh, tok to u is a fun n exciting experience! haha.. ears still ready to pick up ur sorrows, mouths still ready to give advices! service quality gauranteed!

xmei
thanx man for msg me just today n make me know there's someone who still cares, a very very genuine soulmate of mine, who happens to go thru wad i went thru! haha crazy coincidence. always there to listen, always there to advise, always there to kpo around! haha.. jc life would be a little less warm n confused if i hadn't known u the 1st 3 mths. rite? too bad jc life is too busy a life to have lots n lots of time for everybody. but never mind, soulmates will be soulmates! must learn all sorts of language for be safe liao! yineh yingeneh!

dian se tai
thanx for regarding me as a good buddy always, though u have ur own things to juggle, but never forget ur fren over here. c u n christy so close also feel happy manz. like fren married lidat.. haha! 6 yrs schoolmate, 4 yrs classmate man!

..........................................

quite long list!
but go try doing wad i'm doin
u'll find tt u'll land up with more pple to thanx
n tt u'll have to leave some till memories come back to u

life is attached with endless thanx
hopefully those above c the words i dedicate to each of them

dun let 1 minute of awkwardness
create a life time of regret
saying a thanks from deep within really won't kill u noe
biologically, maybe ur face skin cells will die
but it stimulate healthy hormones secretion in ur fren

instead of using the energy to feel awkward n giving reasons y not to say "thanks"
y not use it to say it out loud, n tell them y

n most importantly,
with every thanks u say from ur heart
ur fren feels appreciated...
... appreciated by YOU

when a good fren comes back to ur life all of a sudden
one who was close to u
one whom u never feel sian toking to
one who is of opposite gender
then u find tt u missed her, quite
boooooom..... memories come along


sometimes humans r just never satisfied
when u mug too much, u hope for more freedom of time
when u have too much time, u hope u have something to do
when u have too little money, u hope for more money
when u have money, u hope for more money
when u are alone, u hope for company
when u are with frens, u just hope to be alone
when u r single, u hope to have a partner
when u have a partner, u hope ur partner will give u time to breathe

humans are ambivalent, aren't we

y lidat?

tell urself, sometimes this might be the best situation can eveer attained
while u have it, just enjoy it, y think so much?
when u long for it, work for it, n be prepared, while the practicality of these dreams are bonus, the side effects are inevitable
u noe the world is not perfect
then y always ask for more??
improvement is different from desire
n nobody needs to think which is need, which is want


whoever reading this, while u must refrain from being complacent, be contented, ok?


...............................................


dun let technology create a barrier between u n ur frens
let it be a bridge linkin the hearts of all of u!

so while sms is convenient,
never forget to call ur frens
once in a while

a group of grown up teenagers
matured in thinking, seeing depth in situations

tt's wad i c in my part D 2003

yeah, from once a group of despirited kids
to a group of close frens who unanimously get together for the sake of it
the fulfilment, the satisfaction, the relief, is something even the most powerful language cannot describe

the final realisation of purpose of our actions,
the self motivation they master
r just signs tt, yes, efforts r not down the drain

the unity they found
the comraderie tt they realise
n the numerous lessons they picked up themselves along the way
r, like others always say, treasures the books dun provide
i'm glad they found all of them in their active youth

maybe it took me 1 year plus to realise
but just realising is enough


Part D 2003

there's more to come
to test each individual
to test ur frenship
to transform u
lessons r not just learnt,
they need to be applied
n relearnt

no where else will u learn such lessons
no teacher will be able to teach u wad u were taught
nobody will understand wad is called comraderie
more than anyone of u
use ur knowledge, wisdom, maturity
transform urself into a greater team player
greater fren
greater person

do wad u believe in
unleash the power inculcated,
which no one else can possess,
to do wonders in ur own lives
AND pple around u

ALL of u r capable
it's just a matter of self-realisation
n self-motivation


strive for ur future

Yours shortly,
CV Kiwi Teo

i'm just glad i did volunteer to help out in the lep camp
got to know all my cute juniors, from diff sch
some of whom i'll never ever noe if not for the camp
got to know j2 from other jc
n most importantly some guys whom i really think r worthy frens
last of all, to regain my vitality
the juniors n of cos tsai, shit & yili have brought back my energy which i've always been looking for

great to feel like this again

thanx zhi dao yuans
thanx all crappy juniors
thanx tsai, shit, yili
thanx yi jia ren

maybe someone up there don't want me to start
becos of many unfinished business i have to oversee
maybe it's not the time yet
to be wad i can be to the fullest
maybe it's not the time yet
to engage myself in it
maybe it's not the time too
to pull myself out of some business

wadever it is
those who can n thos who know have to do wad they must
n hopefully, it's not a eternal business

sometimes along the road
u meet pple whom u feel good working with
they r pple who work in synergy w the way u work
n yes they noe too
u r impressed w them
n so r they w u
n u hope to have more chances to interact w them
but u noe u won't have much chance w him
due to geog, hist, interest, timing
an acquitance, a potential good fren
they just come n go

n u wonder, some frens aren't tt close to u after all
n those who can be aren't ur frens for long
y not do a swap rite?
haha

cos if so, u'll have too many frens to entertain
n if so, u'll have too many girlfrens to cope w